Staying Connected After the “I Do”s
Marriage is a beautiful bond that requires love, trust, and commitment. However, maintaining a healthy relationship with your spouse can be challenging, and it requires effort and dedication from both partners, especially because, no one is perfect. This is where John Gottman's Seven Principles of Making a Marriage Work come into play. See I can vouch for this book because my spouse and I use it daily. Yes, you read that correctly. We do couples homework, to ensure we stay connected.
John Gottman is a world-renowned psychologist and researcher who has spent over four decades studying couples and their relationships. His research has led to the development of the Seven Principles of Making a Marriage Work, which is a guide for couples to build and maintain a healthy, long-lasting marriage.
So, what are these principles, and why are they essential for couples? Let's take a closer look.
Enhance your love maps
The first principle is all about getting to know your partner on a deeper level. This means understanding their likes, dislikes, values, dreams, and fears. By enhancing your love maps, you can create a stronger emotional connection with your spouse.
Nurture your fondness and admiration
The second principle is about focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship. By nurturing fondness and admiration, you can build a foundation of love, respect, and appreciation for your partner.
Turn toward each other instead of away
The third principle is about being present and attentive in your relationship. Instead of turning away from your partner when they need you, turn toward them and offer support, empathy, and understanding.
Let your partner influence you
The fourth principle is about compromise and collaboration. It's important to let your partner have a say in the decisions that affect both of you. This can help create a sense of fairness and mutual respect in your relationship.
Solve your solvable problems
The fifth principle is about addressing the issues in your relationship that can be solved. This means working together to find solutions to problems that are causing tension and conflict.
Overcome gridlock
The sixth principle is about resolving the issues in your relationship that can't be solved. This requires empathy, understanding, and compromise from both partners.
Create shared meaning
The seventh principle is about creating a shared vision for your future together. This means identifying your shared values, goals, and aspirations and working together to achieve them.
So, why are these principles essential for couples? Well, they provide a roadmap for building a healthy, long-lasting marriage. By following these principles, couples can create a strong emotional connection, build mutual respect and trust, and work together to overcome the challenges that arise in their relationship.
In addition to providing guidance for couples, John Gottman's research has also led to the development of tools and techniques that can help couples improve their relationship. These include the Gottman Method, which is a therapeutic approach to relationship counseling that is based on his research.
John Gottman's Seven Principles of Making a Marriage Work are essential for couples who want to build and maintain a healthy, long-lasting marriage. By following these principles, couples can create a strong emotional connection, build mutual respect and trust, and work together to overcome the challenges that arise in their relationship. So, if you're in a relationship, consider incorporating these principles into your daily life, and see how they can help strengthen your bond with your partner.
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Written by Regina Cordero
Photo from Amazon
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